Walking in Singleness: God Remains Near and God Remains at Work

Like marriage, singleness can have ups and downs, positives and negatives. For those who are unwillingly or unhappily single, whether because they have never married, are divorced, or are widowed, this aspect of life can be challenging. It may be full of fear and loneliness.

While we know, as believers, that God’s Word is the best antidote to any struggle, and it should likewise be the first line of defense when a single person experiences fear and loneliness, we must remember not to offer spiritual platitudes while neglecting real pain. We must not be cavalier toward others or to ourselves. Recognizing the real struggles we and other people face is important.

Facing Fears

Firstly, one of the biggest fears a single person may wrestle with regularly is fear he or she isn’t good enough for companionship. Lack of relationship may lead to questioning his or her value.

When this issue arises, we must go back to the fundamentals of what we know from Scripture. We are created in God’s image and for God’s purposes (Gen. 1:25–31; Psalm 139:13–16; Jer. 29:11; Eph. 2:10; Rev. 4:11). We are precious and valuable (John 15:16; 1 Cor. 6:19–20; 1 Peter 2:9). God loved us so much He sacrificed His only Son for us (John 3:16–17). Reminding ourselves, and those we minister to, that our value is not based on human relationships but on our relationship with God is key.

Secondly, a single person may fear he or she cannot financially make it alone. Being a sole provider for yourself (and perhaps children) can be daunting. God knows how this world works, and He knew we would need to seek His provision. One of His many names is Jehovah-Jireh, which means “God will provide.”

Throughout Scripture, God promises to supply our needs, no matter how big or uncertain the situations may be (Phil. 4:19; Heb. 13:5–6). You can bring every request to God — even the seemingly worldly issue of money. God is involved in our whole lives and recognizes the realities of our time on earth. To encourage yourself, and others, remember times God has provided for you and the ways He revealed Himself even through hardship.

Thirdly, fear can manifest when a single person has an “I am the only one in this” mentality. We can mistakenly believe we must have all the answers to anything life may throw our way. Why do we do that to ourselves when we have direct access to the source of all answers and need (Prov. 3:5–6)?

The lives of Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and Daniel in Daniel 3 and 6 remind us God does not leave us to handle life alone — He will enter even the fire with us. Purposefully recall times God has ministered to you when you thought you were out on a limb alone.

Facing Loneliness

Physical loneliness can be unnerving. Feelings of lack and deficiency can render a person paralyzed mentally and emotionally. God offers countless assurances of how He is always with us (John 14:15–19; Heb. 13:5). Jesus surrounded Himself with 12 disciples to help play a part in God’s plan. He knew they would need one another as they made the gospel known.

We need to be ever mindful that God does not expect us to do everything on our own. He is with us, and He provides others to help us along the way. In Hebrews 10:24–25, we are challenged to encourage one another and to not give up meeting together so as to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (NIV). God provides Christian brothers and sisters to help us in life (Acts 16 and 18).

Sometimes God calls us to seasons of purposeful solitude. Be sure not to simply fill experiences of loneliness with constant distractions of people, events, and fellowship. Some lessons are only learned in solitude, when no other voices or distractions pull at us and our focus can be fine-tuned.

Elijah had to be alone and away from everyone to hear God’s still, small voice speak to him about his future (1 Kings 19:1–17). Jesus often went off to quiet places to spend time alone with the Father. In these times, His spirit was renewed for the events that lay ahead (Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16). Other times, He withdrew to avoid things that shouldn’t take place — like people making Him a physical king (John 6:15). Think of solitude as a tool that assists and equips you.

While singleness has challenges, it is also an opportunity for God to display His intimacy and provision and provide growth and refreshment.

Gina Smith has been crazy about missions ever since she was a Sunbeam. One of her greatest joys in life is teaching people about Jesus and doing hands-on missions. She has been a missions educator since her early teens and has written for WMU for 18 years.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this article is not meant to diagnose or treat a mental health condition. We encourage you to follow up with your health-care provider and seek a mental health professional for individual consultation and care.