A Testimony of Hope: Walking with Our Son as He Battles OCD

I could see he was struggling. He sat frozen at the table, unable to decide whether he should write the number that was needed to complete his homework assignment. Logically, my son knew writing the number 4 did not carry any hidden consequences, but his mind was battling the thought that if he wrote that number, something bad was going to happen to someone he loved.

I had been watching him battle these thoughts and decisions, and I didn’t understand what was going on inside of him. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t easily make a decision, choose what was logical, and complete his work. It wasn’t until my husband and I took him to see a Christian counselor that we realized our son was fighting a secret battle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, OCD is “characterized by repetitive, unwanted, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and irrational, excessive urges to do certain actions (compulsions). Although people with OCD may know that their thoughts and behaviors don’t make sense, they are often unable to stop them.”

I had heard of OCD on TV shows and in movies, but I had never experienced it personally, and it did not present itself how I had imagined.

My son was struggling with intrusive thoughts that created fear and anxiety and prevented him from completing the most basic tasks. Hearing him confess the things that were popping into his mind was heartbreaking. As a mother, I found it difficult to watch him try to suppress those thoughts by completing tasks in a specific way or avoiding things he loved. These thoughts were not logical, but, in his words, they were loud and hard to ignore.

As my son began counseling, which often included me and my husband, we discovered our son’s battle is more common than we realized. We began the journey of understanding not only what OCD is but also how we could help him.

He needed to take medication to help him begin the battle with his anxiety. This decision provided the mental calmness he needed to start the work of healing.

His counselor recommended he name his OCD, such as “the bully,” so he could distinguish between the intrusive thoughts that were lies and the truth of a specific situation. This allowed him to make clarifying statements like, “The bully is telling me I should wash my hands again, but that is a lie.” He began to slowly recognize the difference between what was true and what was a lie. This first simple step empowered him and gave him a sense of hope.

After identifying the lies, my son was taught to counter those lies with truth. He began to talk through some of the most common lies he was hearing, identify the anxiety those lies produced, and recognize what was true in each situation. My husband and I helped him find Scripture passages related to each one. We memorized verses about being anxious and putting our trust in God. I watched as words of truth from Scripture brought peace and calm and eased his anxiety.

The hardest part for the person living with OCD is avoiding the action or compulsion his or her mind creates to ease the anxiety produced by the intrusive thoughts.

My son’s counselor encouraged him that while he felt like he would be easing his anxiety by doing a certain action or avoiding a certain action, he was creating a pattern requiring those actions each time to ease the fear. But she also shared that if he refused to ease his anxiety by doing the compulsion, he would begin to silence the obsessive thought.

I watched as he began to battle his urge to complete a compulsion, and each time he chose to fight against his thoughts, the next time grew a little easier. He began to have a sense of power over the compulsions. He no longer allowed himself to be controlled by fear, and as he identified the lies intruding into his mind, he fought back with truth.

I have learned increased patience and grace while walking with our son through this challenging time. The thoughts that intrude into his mind can sometimes be scary and are not logical at all.

I have learned the power of Scripture and the power of prayer. My husband and I have wept in our bedroom, pleading with God to heal our son’s mind and give him peace. We have prayed together as a family, and our son has prayed aloud asking God to give him the strength to battle. I have had to constantly seek the Lord and ask Him for wisdom and words of encouragement.

We have had to seek forgiveness when we have allowed frustration to seep in, and we have lost our tempers and spoken harshly. Battling against something like OCD is not easy, and our son is still fighting, but each day we see hope as God gives him the strength to identify the lies and walk in truth.