Divorce can be a highly stressful and devastating event for families. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the United States divorce rate in 2023 was 2.4 per 1000 population.

As ministry leaders, we have to be prepared to minister to the families in our churches who have been impacted by divorce.

This is a powerful opportunity for children’s leaders to come alongside families because an event such as divorce is a crucial crossroads in the spiritual lives of their children.

Offer Practical Assistance

A parent left alone with small children may need babysitters, a pair of helping hands to the pediatrician’s office, or help with car maintenance. If the solo parent is seeking a job, offer job openings you are aware of. An offer to take a child shopping for a present for dad or flowers for mom on birthdays/holidays can be very meaningful.

Don’t Avoid the Divorced Parent

I know a divorced friend who was so ostracized by people in the church that she found it difficult to continue going to that congregation. The lack of support and nonjudgmental acceptance often causes the divorced person to stop attending church.

The divorcée may also miss church because they feel shame and guilt. Reach out and let them know they are missed. Something as simple as sitting with them in church, inviting them to coffee, or sending an encouraging note or text shows you care.

Be a Consistent Presence for the Children

A child’s whole world becomes completely uprooted in divorce. Knowing you are there for him or her each week creates stability and safety. 

In a divorce, everyone is hurting. Parents are under tremendous stress and may not be capable of providing all the support their child needs. 

Don’t pressure a child to talk, but if they open up to you, acknowledge the loss of their family of origin, while at the same time helping them discover positive things that have occurred.

Above all, pray for the child and encourage him or her to pray to the only One who can heal all our hurts and fears, Jesus.

Be Aware of the Hurt Behind the Child’s Behavior

With the psychological effect of divorce, children will experience changes in their behavior. Impulsivity, distractibility, confusion, aggression, and assumption that they did something to cause the divorce are common.

Children in our care need grace and understanding, but giving some leeway for the emotional behavior does not mean you accept the unacceptable. In fact, children desperately want and need loving boundaries especially when their life seems out of control.

Legal Considerations

It is important for children’s leaders to make sure to have a clear understanding of custody arrangements and, unfortunately, if a situation is volatile, make sure to have a copy of any legal order that restricts access to a child.

Divorce is a devastating experience for families, but God is in the redemption business and can redeem any situation for His glory and our good. May God bless you as you minister to parents and their children affected by divorce with encouragement and support.

 

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Fondra Magee is mom to two grown sons, elementary school counselor, and wife to Tom. Her passions include type 1 diabetes advocacy, play therapy, clown ministry, and sharing God’s love with her community and all who do not know Him.