New Year, New Tears: How to Avoid or Mitigate Children’s Meltdowns at Church
A new school year means new classes and teachers, new friends, new schedules, and new learning concepts. You may notice that the overwhelming emotions these changes bring for our young friends spill over into your missions discipleship group meeting times, especially if you meet in the evening during the school week. How do you avoid meltdowns in your group or, if they do happen (and they will!), how do you mitigate them?
Get Ahead of the Emotions
If you have new children or children moving up from Mission Friends, take some time to acquaint them to you, your space, and what you are teaching. This might look like an open-house night before you dive into the first meeting.
Invite children and their parents to see where you will be meeting and explore the space. Have old copies of Missions Journey: Kids Adventure in a reading area, a world map marked with the places you will “visit” during the year, and even pictures of missionaries or locations you have studied over the past year on the walls. Let children explore the space and meet their new friends. Make sure you take time to greet each child and learn a little about them.
If you have a Girls in Action, Royal Ambassadors, or Children in Action group, show children examples of badges/patches they can earn throughout the year. Hang GA, RA, or CA posters for your group that show the motto, pledge, Scripture verse, etc. Explain that you will learn them together.
The Buddy System
Think about children who have been in your group for at least a year who have a helpful, welcoming attitude. Pair these children with an upcoming or new “buddy” they can help get acclimated to their new environment and pair with during activities. Transitions go much smoother when you know you will have a friend in the group waiting to welcome you!
Have Help and a Plan
When children are overwhelmed, tired, or have trouble processing and communicating their emotions, it is inevitable that meltdowns will happen. This doesn’t mean you are a bad leader!
Make sure you have at least one other adult or youth helper. Discuss with them ahead of time how you will handle a child who is crying or throwing a tantrum. Your course of action will probably depend on each situation, but if the situation cannot be easily or quickly handled, be prepared for the helper to remove the child from the rest of the group to a quieter area of the room.
Encourage your helper to reassure the child he or she isn’t in trouble. The child may be overstimulated and need a break. They may want to talk after a few minutes about something bothering them. Or, they just may need a quiet moment before rejoining the group. Make sure your helper is equipped to help in any situation. (Learn “5 Ways to Model Positive Behaviors for Children at Church.”)
Be prepared to step in and help, if needed. Or spend time with the child when you are able to transition the other children into an activity and your helper can be with them.
Whatever the outcome, don’t be afraid to let parents know their child had some big emotions during your meeting time. If the emotions persist, communicate with parents to come up with a plan that works best for the child and the rest of your group.
As always, pray for the children in your group, their parents, and their other teachers. Pray for patience and wisdom when helping them with their big emotions, and pray that the Holy Spirit will use your reaction to their emotions as a way to point them to Jesus.
