As a college student, I find that my life is characterized by a constant whirlwind of activity. Moving through my day, I am always surrounded by friends, classmates, and professors. But I rarely take the time to get to know these people beyond the surface level. In fact, I could probably recite most conversations I have as if I were reading off a script.

The way the Bible talks about relationships, though, is vastly different from the reality I so often experience. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Being in relationship with others should make everyone stronger and draw everyone involved closer to God. How can we begin cultivating these iron-sharpening-iron relationships?

Start with honesty. When someone asks how you are, it is OK to admit that you are stressed out, scared, or overwhelmed. Moving past surface-level responses, even to basic questions, breaks down the shiny façade we often present to others. This step is so vital to forming authentic relationships that build up one another in Christ.

Cynthia Martin and her husband, Tom, feel as if every refugee who comes their way in Las Vegas is sent there on purpose by God, and over the past year, that has included a number of Afghani families.

“The men speak English because they were translators for our US military in Afghanistan, and because of that, their families were threatened and then had to flee Afghanistan for safety,” Cynthia said.

They may speak English well, but their wives don’t, and so they approached Cynthia to ask if she would be willing to teach their wives.

“I was already teaching 2 classes per day, but they could not attend those classes,” she said. “After praying for wisdom, I knew that God had brought these women to Safely Home [Refugee Ministry] and I needed to engage with them.”

So she started a new class just for them so they could bring their children with them.

“That meant that at the end of an already full day, I had 2 more hours of teaching approximately 8 Afghani mothers with about 15 preschoolers running around,” she said.

Kelsey Smith has met a lot of refugees, but she remembers 1 boy in particular. “He was 14, fresh off the plane from his country of asylum, spoke almost no English, and no one else in the program spoke his language,” said Kelsey, who works with a nonprofit organization that helps refugees begin to build a life in the United States. “He appeared tired, dispirited, and completely uninterested in participating in our activities.” She couldn’t figure out how to connect with him.

Then 1 day, Kelsey walked by the computer lab and saw that he was using Google Earth to look at his home country. “I sat down beside him and used gestures and simple words to ask him questions about his country, and that was the happiest I’d ever seen him,” she said. “His face lit up as he used what few words he had to tell me about his home.”

Reaching out to refugees is important—and making them feel at home is vital, Kelsey said. She offered several ways to interact with refugees to make them feel loved and welcomed in their new country: