Where Is My Confidence?

Plopping down in the back row of my all-day training, I was planning on relaxing while listening to the day’s sessions. Taking notes, while making side comments to my neighbors, I didn't expect what was going to happen next.

A man I had never met before, who was taking a new position, came to introduce himself and share his testimony. After a few funny slides of his wife and children flashed on the screen, he had my attention. He shared his journey to faith and to ministry, and then he flashed an unexpected verse on the screen:

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit” (Jere. 17:7–8 NIV).

He began to dissect the verse, sharing with us how it mattered to his journey to live God's Kingdom out in His day to day life. His points passed through my ears, while my eyes welling with tears stared at the verse on the screen.

You see, this verse was not just any verse. A tree shaped tattoo lives on my left wrist as a reminder to trust the Lord in any season, knowing He is my confidence no matter the storms. And I had forgotten this truth.

I was caught up in the season. Worrying about how God would provide in my new marriage, how he would provide in my career, my dreams, our everyday responsibilities. My eyes began to look at the weather, forgetting where my sustenance is drawn, where the roots reside, by the stream of a stable and loving God.

It was a slap of humility in my face. How quickly I forgot. How many seasons of my life before this point I pressed in to the Almighty God, crying out to Him knowing He was my strength. How quickly I had blended into my stable 9–6 life, with my husband and our dreams. Forgetting Who my confidence is in and remembering to return to the story God had written for my life. To trust in Him and to know, no matter the season or the weather—where my confidence remains.

Abi Khavari traveled the world, writing for a non-profit agency in the Middle East. She now lives in Colorado, got married recently, and is starting her Masters of Counseling this spring.

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